is unnecessary for a teenage girl.
it's all about your familia & your boys & girls, ydig?
Julius Nisperos
Erica Almonte
Louisa Gavino
Austin AC Teodoro
Tina Nguyen
Ashley Romero
|
|
one last tear for you .
" i hide everything behind this smile on my face
I feel like running away to some sort of g a t e a w a y - far from home. I hate the mood here in this house. Everything is colliding with just one arguement & fight. Too much tears i shed. Too much painful words coming out of everyones mouth. I wish everything could stop. I never knew this has been going on for years and years. It feels like im invisible here. I want to go to someplace where theres no drama, no more screaming and yelling on the top of their lungs, no more lies, no more grudges and revenge ...
After today, everything is going to c h a n g e
|
|
No Thanks To You
SECOND POST OF THE DAY, daaang - This is how bored i am.
Please move on with your life, and stop trying to make it up to me
because youd be wasting your time.
You have to change by what you feel is right,
You have to make improvements in your life, and take risks everyday.
Try something new, rather than sticking with the old shit.
I had enough, and its about time for me to move on
Im moving on, but your holding me down until this day.
I want to be happy again with someone else
And surprisingly I got this smile on my face, because of him
A new year, and it requires changes for me and you .. (us).
One reason i smile everyday is because of "him" not you anymore.
- This is the outcome now.
There is this one thing i want to do ;
And that is, I want to learn the real you. And to become friends again. Start over from the very beginning & learn from each other. Rather than being a wasteboy, and faking things with me - and pretending & throwing lies at my face.
Can you do that for me?
|
|
chances.
" when i first saw your face, i knew you were special boy "
Yesturday was pretty tiring. Angelica and Ashley came over to my house. We all pretty much loafted, watched lovely bones SINCE i couldnt watch the last 45 mins of it at erins the other day lol. Uhm, we ate one bag of ketchup chips, made the biggest cookie ever ! AHA YEEEESH. Oh and we camwhored just a BIT! on wcam & i talked to joseph for a bit on the phone . THAT BOY owes me a call as of now, since he said he would lOL:) I dont blame him, he had to get a haircut, had to go to bball practise & he was at his boys house. true ! Anyways, once they left i went straight to tdot, once i got home i ate. Around 12 midnight - i dropped dead & went to bed. Rui calls me around one-ish. THIS BOY CALLS ME EVERY NIGHT past twelve! I never sleep properly because he & i always fall asleep together on the phone till like seven or eight in the morning ! I HATE YOU RUI, keeding. Anyways nuff about rui, Uhm yeah im beginning to think im falling for "him" . he's been trying to get at me since summer but he found out i was dealing with "the boy" - so he stopped talking to me. I shouldve gave him a chance, since he treats me right, and "the boy" just dropped me like i DONT have a fqn damn heart on the first day of school. So yeah, i got ashley & nelly to help me out with this "thing" :) LIFE IS GOOD ♥ - well not really, minus all the drama and crap.
" I feel like your just taking advantage of me again. I ended everything with you a couple of days ago, and yet - you dont listen. What does it take, for you to realize that i dont want to be invovled with you anymore - as a friend or more? -- I find it easier and better if we go our seperate ways ; leave the past and find someone else. At least i do, i know what your gonna do - so no need to tell me. I want to be happy again with someone who can treat me right. I dont want to cry because of you, i want to move on and live life to the fullest. If we were still to be "friends", at least promise me that you will be honest to me as of now? because i hate to lose you but i did already a couple of weeks ago." > .. So you tell me what you want again.
|
|
this is the best decision for now.
" with a simple hey, my days were rearranged "
Breakdown of the DAY.
- 3 EXAM of the week - math. Not so bad, well we got a cheat sheet so yeah :)
- 38S & 34S(ithink) with AC, Cyril, Shuan, Darocha, William & Ashley.
- SQUARE is where its at.
- camwhored at apple with Ashley, William, AC :)
- met up with Arnold & Jhon!
- loafted, walked around. TOOK legit pictures.
- Ditched the boys, for Joseph at BURGER KING ♥
- Phoned with Rodney & begged him to reach SQ for me. ♥ Aha.
- SAW Ernest & Rodney and his friends at the second floor.
- Took Joseph smarties DQ icecream :) Yum.
- looked for money $$$$ FOR FOOD. LMAO .
- took plenty of samples from Kernels & Manchu Wok & Bulk Barn for the boys -,-
- bussed home with nelly & cyril @ 2
- met up with angelica & reached davids while walking her dog.
- saw hannah get off the bus. SHE got BARKED at from angelicas dog aha :)
- pick up our sibs & her cousins
- home, sleep, study now.
... Waiting for my chinese food from my rents , aha . Alrighty well thats the breakdown of the day . Fourth exam tomorrow - REIGION LEEETS GO ! .
" the decision i made, was the best deicision so far. The biggest weight just lifted off of me - You will always have a piece of my heart though. I just hope your not sad or mad at me because of this"
|
|
I got seven minutes and thirtyfour seconds left.
she says,
Im beginning to think your fckn me over again. Just like you have been doing, way back in september. Im faking everything with you, because i thought i can handle it all. Behind this smile and laughter, is tears and doubts. So please, make it easier for all of us if you stop talking to me and calling me late at night. I think we should go our seperate ways nows, and move on to someone who deserves us. Sure, you deserve someone who can hurt you and still get back at you and cheat on you. Unlike me, im the complete opposite. I deserve someone who can love me, be there for me always, show me the goodside in life, honesty, being able to be open to one another. I think its better this way, since you did this all and made the decision. I bet you didnt know it would hurt this much, right?
|
|
you remind me of my ex.
" .. i keep forgetting to forget about you"
Yesturday i went out with my entire fambam. Went to tdot to pick up my mom from work, then went straight to sqaure one. Afterwards we dropped my mom off at home since she wanted to rest, and picked up my uncle at the house. Then my dad & i & my sister & my uncle went to the walmart parking lot @ sq to meet up with my tita jeannette & uncle arnel. Went to Tim Hortons to get some coffee & my cousin peejay, tita ningning & tito marte came. THEN we all left to go to AMC, but since the movie starts @ 10:05 we went to eat at this chinese restaurent across the theatre. I didnt eat at all, except chicken corn coup. I was bloated since i ate at sqaure one already :/ So once we're down we went to AMC, until i got a call from Ashley Romero :) Bleeeeeeh, dont want to expose our conversations - Kinda getting sick and tired of this fake friendship with him. Cant handle his lies anymore. So anyways, we watched the Book of Eli, pretty disturbing - i had to close me eyes for the blooody scenes ): FIRST TIME, i actually closed my eyes in the theatre lol. Overall it was an excellent movie, minus the bloody killing scenes :) . What else did i do last night? OH, so once the movie ended around 12 : 15 midnight, we all decided to go to tim hortons again, aha to boost up our energy . I was so afraid to go to tim hortons nowadays, due to the robbing of timmies across my house, gah! One shotgun & four handguns? Im paranoid now. YOO BUT when we were just chilln at tim hortons after the movie theatre, all these gang ppl coms in and out - different ppl - and this one guy walked in and a FQN WRENCH, dropps from his sweater? THE HELL, NOW YOU TELL ME WHAT THE MEANS? Gaaaaah, he saw me look, and i was so terrified LOLLL omgg. Thankgod ! We left quicktimes after a couple of minutes. Overall today was an Ohokay Day, Went to bed at 2 in the morning, couldnt sleep with all the memories taking up my brain ..
|
|
Thats what it feels like.
"I'm so sick of these promises that you dont intend to keep I cant think, can't eat, can't sleep, I'm a mess over you. Tired of being taken for granted With my feet firmly planted I've given all of me Yet here I stand empty handed"
Wow what i perfect day to start off with. I keep bumping into you with your girl. You say Hi, i say Bye. Because i dont want to start a conversation with you. Everywhere i go, i See you & her. Honestly, I dont think being friends with you is right anymore. I thought you said you wanted to change & become a better person & to take risks? Wow, another lie to add to the list eh? This list is pretty long as of now. You keep throwing more and more lies straight at my face. And funny thing is, is that i actually had faith in you That you can become a better person. I gave you another chance to change, but HELL no - You didnt prove that at all ! I told you already, that once you come back, your gonna go back running to her with open arms, and you denied that. Holy, why cant you make up your mind, seriously. WE ALL KNOW what the hell your going to do, so you dont have to deny it anymore. I can see it in your eyes. All the lies & bullshit you've pulled. Stop contradicting yourself.
Do yourself a favour, and dont talk to me anymore. Because all you do is hurt me constantly & stab my heart repeativly. Being with you OR just simply being "friends" with you, is a lie & a game for you.
"So much for a happy ending, right?"
|
|
sometimes loves comes around, nawt.
One word - "Hate"
- - - - - - - - -
I Hate the New You. I hate the person you've become. How the hell can you use me like that? Wtf did i do wrong? I thought you were happy. I thought you liked me. But nope, you had to lie. How the hell can you pull 5 months with me? With all the lies, pretendings, being fake? You sure do have guts. I honestly, dont like the person youve become. One day, I hope you realize what you did. Funny thing is, is that you say you do realize it all .. But are you sure? Wanna think about that again? Because it SURE doesnt show that. I absoluty REGRET everything because now i gotta deal with this bs. Not only do I hate the new you, I hate myself too. How can i be so BLINDED when EVERYONE kept WARNING me a few months later? Why the hell .. did i have to follow my heart? Why the hell, did i follow it anyway? Eff you. Eff me, Eff Life, EFF YOU LOVE. Its hard to let go of you, but i have no choice. Being "just" friends with you, is HELL. Because things can not go BACK to normal in a snap. Woow. Honestly, dont come to me for anymore advice for your fqn girl. Because i couldnt care less, what you do with that girl- who says she LOVES you.
IM DONE WITH YOUR BS.
|
|
heartmigrane
"... Do you find this all entertainment to you? Seeing me get hurt because of all the little things you do? Then sit back & watch & let it be"
Regrets? sure.
Hate? not you ... Just who youve become.
Pain in my heart? yes.
Miss you? I sure do.
Miss us? More than anything.
Love you? nope, correction - "loved you"
|
|
Right Here Waiting For You ...
Boy I tried to give u everything,
Can't believe the ways u repaid me,
Boy u had it all,
But I guess my all wasn't good enough for you,
Baby I've accepted it,
And I aint gone trip,
Boy im movin on, i have no choice but to leave the past to you now
Sometimes I cant help but think that another lady gonna get the one I made for me How could you?
|
|
thirteenth day of january.
"I listen to his heartbeat cause it plays my favorite song"
Quite tired, a tad, sure. Got up from bed around sevenish, i was a little to dead to wake up at 650am since my alarm on my phone was set to that time, i snoozed it lol. Uhm, once i got up, i quickly turned on my laptop, and while it was loading i went to go wash up, get my uniform, apply makeup, remove those huge ass curlers - only 4 i had on last night "lol", uhm straighten my hair, put all my papers & books and other school junk in my bag, then turned on the radio to listen to music while i was getting ready, and chatted a bit with 'him'. I did five-way talk with him, on stat, dp, wall, fb chat, msn. Erm, i was hella distracted LOL, he was my distraction somewhat. Tried cam-ing with him, but major fail. Uhm well yeah my morning was pretty fast. That all happened within just 20 minutes. Lol, surprising, i know.
Well throughtout the day, was really tiring, although surprisngly i was focused and actually doing my work in my first period class - science. bwaha, i dont even know why, but i somewhat finished all my work and whatnot. But once second period came, i dropped dead. Mrs Orosz made us copy down tons of notes on the overhea & Louisa & I did our 12line Skit - not bad, we got 20/24. The entire pd i was listening to Neyo singing to me on my ipod. He's quite amazing ♥ Anyways back to what im saying, Uhm in third period - Math, was the same. At 3A i was basically on Peter's Iphone or whatever LOL - it had facebook so yeah, OBVIOUSLY i went on to check whats happening if any noticfications & whatnawt. Lunch, was a flop. Erica went to Liezl's house, while i stayed behind since i had to photocopy three spanish notes for Louisa, and Tina came along LOL cos she was too lazy to go to her class. Irenea & Christine Grant went to Zita's , I was way to LAZY to walk there by myself in the cold :S So yeah, screw that. So instead i stayed with SEAN le-gis-pi since, Tina had to go back to class lol. I made Sean stay with me during my lunch period for like 15 mins, aha. He & I kept fighting for my BRISK, and he kept running to his class which turns out was a portable, i thought hes class was in the building, SOOO he flippin made me chase him around the school & OUTSIDE in the cold without my jacket -.- Urgh, thank god i didnt get sick :) Anyways uhm, 3C was boring, samething .. Copied notes down, and talked to Anthony Minuado & Peter & Kamil & Cory & Matthew & Kevin. Boys ftw, since theres BARELY any girls in my class, ugh whatever, they are pretty chill to talk to :) And lastly fourth period - religion was BORING as usual, all we did was chill & listen to our ipods. Alexa, Tyler Camilleri, Erin, Katrina, Sheldon & Ashley & I were just chilling and talking about life LOL, but mostly Tyler & Erin & I were aha. Pretty boring but whatever. That was pretty much my day in school for today, hell tiring but whatever. ;D
Nts :
- Exams in a week or so = STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY MAJOR.
- Religion CAT due this friday, oh fml.
- Science Test this Friday, fml more.
- Civies tomorrow, what to wear? Argh .
- Liezl owes me $3 / Hannah owes me $3.25 /Erin owes me .25 CENTS, aha OWE up slu's♥
- PAULS HAPPY SIXTEEEN JAM this saturday, omfg i styll got to ask parents (yn)
- bring cam tomorrow to camwhore with my lovely's♥
- learn how to smile properly
- stay focuse in school,
- hopefully, move on from this pain
- Mother owes me $60 !
"Love is pain, we all know it is. I just didnt know, it would be this painful..."
|
|
suddenly, i feel like crashing .
Woke up around eight o'clock in the morning, surprisngly since i went to bed at two in the morning last night. Went on Msn & Facebook right after i got up from bed, chatted for a couple of hrs. Then around 10-11 i got ready for church. So cold outside, i literally felt like i had a frozt bite on my feet. I wore flats, stupid of me.. But i was too lazy to get my black boots lol. And i was just going to church anyway? But turns out, my fam & i went to costco to get grocery & no frills, then went to home depot to check out this dining table my dad wanted to get, then we zoomed to Ikea in Etobikoe to see some other sleections there. We pretty much spent our money on 4 vases, a plant, a mirror, 4 frosted see-through jars, 2 cerel plastic containers & some other junk lol. I love Ikea ! Oh, and i really really wanted to get this painting of the Eiffel Tower ): But it was hella huge, and it cost 200 bucks, My rents were like FORGET IT LOL, BUT found another painting of the city of Paris ♥ And the Eiffel Tower in it was gorgeous, it was in colour while the rest of the city was grey & black. As you can see, i have a HUGE HUGE HUGE interest in Art, especially with Paris ♥ Hoping to get that soontimes (yn)Anyways, afterwards we wentt o KFC to buy some food, Its quite fatten but whatever ! :) I need the fat anyways. Erm, after we all ate at home ... My sister & I started to take down the xmas tree, all the ornaments, reindeers, flowers, mini lighted xmas tree, candles, garlands, ect. Quite tiring, especially the fact that i also loaded my laundry at the sametime, so im sorta multi-tasking. Well im done all that, just waiting for my last load, and im here starving again - dammit, and im too lazy to do my science homework as well. I dont even feel good enough to go to school tomorrow, urgh we'll see tomorrow ):
Au'Revoir Stalkers ! ♥
|
|
Flushed in Memories
"Im drowning .. with your lies"
Im alittle lazy to jot down what happened for the past few days. Too many things happened within a week. Its a new year, time to 'move on', change - to being a fully grown mature lady. Fix my heart, put a bandage on it - from leaking. Focuse on school - and receive that honour roll. And plan my future as of now. Oh man, i already made an appointment with my guidance counsellor for that grade eleven course selection, and im so stressed for that. My brain has been ON THAT stuff, for weeks. Oh my gosh , But i know what im taking, just got to make sure its right with my guidance counsellor/academic counsellor, because they know best. Urgh. School's a pain in the asscrack.
Things i want to say to you,
I hate that i have to deal with this now, four months down and we're still argueing until now. You tell me to tell you all my 'untold feelings' (referring to you), and its hard, knowing that your JUST collecting it all, and you dont even have the answers to any of my questions .. So why bother? Right? Ughh, i simply JUST DONT KNOW what to do anymore. You never tell me what you feel about me or this. Its messing up my mind lately, Im slacking off of school, being disrespectful to my parents - which i know is extrememly wrong. Always on the phone with ppl late at night, JUST talking about you and what youve done. I hate what the fact that im changing. This is not me, i should know better. I know its stupid to think that i fell for you, out of all the other boys. But i followed me heart, and look where it lead me. Its a new year, and i need to 'move on' but it just seems that i cant. You were the real deal for me, and now i gotta cope with this. Knowing you was my biggest regret. I was so dumb to have you by my side, when you said you will always be there for me - even if were friends or more. I guess, thats another lie of yours. So tell me, What you want me to do now ; I really need to know. I always wanted someone like you to be there by my side thro everything in life, guess you cant be anymore ... I was just a part of your list
...
In case your wondering, i dont hate you, and hate what you've become ...
|
|
|
one last tear for you .
" i hide everything behind this smile on my face
I feel like running away to some sort of g a t e a w a y - far from home. I hate the mood here in this house. Everything is colliding with just one arguement & fight. Too much tears i shed. Too much painful words coming out of everyones mouth. I wish everything could stop. I never knew this has been going on for years and years. It feels like im invisible here. I want to go to someplace where theres no drama, no more screaming and yelling on the top of their lungs, no more lies, no more grudges and revenge ...
After today, everything is going to c h a n g e
|
|
No Thanks To You
SECOND POST OF THE DAY, daaang - This is how bored i am.
Please move on with your life, and stop trying to make it up to me
because youd be wasting your time.
You have to change by what you feel is right,
You have to make improvements in your life, and take risks everyday.
Try something new, rather than sticking with the old shit.
I had enough, and its about time for me to move on
Im moving on, but your holding me down until this day.
I want to be happy again with someone else
And surprisingly I got this smile on my face, because of him
A new year, and it requires changes for me and you .. (us).
One reason i smile everyday is because of "him" not you anymore.
- This is the outcome now.
There is this one thing i want to do ;
And that is, I want to learn the real you. And to become friends again. Start over from the very beginning & learn from each other. Rather than being a wasteboy, and faking things with me - and pretending & throwing lies at my face.
Can you do that for me?
|
|
chances.
" when i first saw your face, i knew you were special boy "
Yesturday was pretty tiring. Angelica and Ashley came over to my house. We all pretty much loafted, watched lovely bones SINCE i couldnt watch the last 45 mins of it at erins the other day lol. Uhm, we ate one bag of ketchup chips, made the biggest cookie ever ! AHA YEEEESH. Oh and we camwhored just a BIT! on wcam & i talked to joseph for a bit on the phone . THAT BOY owes me a call as of now, since he said he would lOL:) I dont blame him, he had to get a haircut, had to go to bball practise & he was at his boys house. true ! Anyways, once they left i went straight to tdot, once i got home i ate. Around 12 midnight - i dropped dead & went to bed. Rui calls me around one-ish. THIS BOY CALLS ME EVERY NIGHT past twelve! I never sleep properly because he & i always fall asleep together on the phone till like seven or eight in the morning ! I HATE YOU RUI, keeding. Anyways nuff about rui, Uhm yeah im beginning to think im falling for "him" . he's been trying to get at me since summer but he found out i was dealing with "the boy" - so he stopped talking to me. I shouldve gave him a chance, since he treats me right, and "the boy" just dropped me like i DONT have a fqn damn heart on the first day of school. So yeah, i got ashley & nelly to help me out with this "thing" :) LIFE IS GOOD ♥ - well not really, minus all the drama and crap.
" I feel like your just taking advantage of me again. I ended everything with you a couple of days ago, and yet - you dont listen. What does it take, for you to realize that i dont want to be invovled with you anymore - as a friend or more? -- I find it easier and better if we go our seperate ways ; leave the past and find someone else. At least i do, i know what your gonna do - so no need to tell me. I want to be happy again with someone who can treat me right. I dont want to cry because of you, i want to move on and live life to the fullest. If we were still to be "friends", at least promise me that you will be honest to me as of now? because i hate to lose you but i did already a couple of weeks ago." > .. So you tell me what you want again.
|
|
this is the best decision for now.
" with a simple hey, my days were rearranged "
Breakdown of the DAY.
- 3 EXAM of the week - math. Not so bad, well we got a cheat sheet so yeah :)
- 38S & 34S(ithink) with AC, Cyril, Shuan, Darocha, William & Ashley.
- SQUARE is where its at.
- camwhored at apple with Ashley, William, AC :)
- met up with Arnold & Jhon!
- loafted, walked around. TOOK legit pictures.
- Ditched the boys, for Joseph at BURGER KING ♥
- Phoned with Rodney & begged him to reach SQ for me. ♥ Aha.
- SAW Ernest & Rodney and his friends at the second floor.
- Took Joseph smarties DQ icecream :) Yum.
- looked for money $$$$ FOR FOOD. LMAO .
- took plenty of samples from Kernels & Manchu Wok & Bulk Barn for the boys -,-
- bussed home with nelly & cyril @ 2
- met up with angelica & reached davids while walking her dog.
- saw hannah get off the bus. SHE got BARKED at from angelicas dog aha :)
- pick up our sibs & her cousins
- home, sleep, study now.
... Waiting for my chinese food from my rents , aha . Alrighty well thats the breakdown of the day . Fourth exam tomorrow - REIGION LEEETS GO ! .
" the decision i made, was the best deicision so far. The biggest weight just lifted off of me - You will always have a piece of my heart though. I just hope your not sad or mad at me because of this"
|
|
I got seven minutes and thirtyfour seconds left.
she says,
Im beginning to think your fckn me over again. Just like you have been doing, way back in september. Im faking everything with you, because i thought i can handle it all. Behind this smile and laughter, is tears and doubts. So please, make it easier for all of us if you stop talking to me and calling me late at night. I think we should go our seperate ways nows, and move on to someone who deserves us. Sure, you deserve someone who can hurt you and still get back at you and cheat on you. Unlike me, im the complete opposite. I deserve someone who can love me, be there for me always, show me the goodside in life, honesty, being able to be open to one another. I think its better this way, since you did this all and made the decision. I bet you didnt know it would hurt this much, right?
|
|
you remind me of my ex.
" .. i keep forgetting to forget about you"
Yesturday i went out with my entire fambam. Went to tdot to pick up my mom from work, then went straight to sqaure one. Afterwards we dropped my mom off at home since she wanted to rest, and picked up my uncle at the house. Then my dad & i & my sister & my uncle went to the walmart parking lot @ sq to meet up with my tita jeannette & uncle arnel. Went to Tim Hortons to get some coffee & my cousin peejay, tita ningning & tito marte came. THEN we all left to go to AMC, but since the movie starts @ 10:05 we went to eat at this chinese restaurent across the theatre. I didnt eat at all, except chicken corn coup. I was bloated since i ate at sqaure one already :/ So once we're down we went to AMC, until i got a call from Ashley Romero :) Bleeeeeeh, dont want to expose our conversations - Kinda getting sick and tired of this fake friendship with him. Cant handle his lies anymore. So anyways, we watched the Book of Eli, pretty disturbing - i had to close me eyes for the blooody scenes ): FIRST TIME, i actually closed my eyes in the theatre lol. Overall it was an excellent movie, minus the bloody killing scenes :) . What else did i do last night? OH, so once the movie ended around 12 : 15 midnight, we all decided to go to tim hortons again, aha to boost up our energy . I was so afraid to go to tim hortons nowadays, due to the robbing of timmies across my house, gah! One shotgun & four handguns? Im paranoid now. YOO BUT when we were just chilln at tim hortons after the movie theatre, all these gang ppl coms in and out - different ppl - and this one guy walked in and a FQN WRENCH, dropps from his sweater? THE HELL, NOW YOU TELL ME WHAT THE MEANS? Gaaaaah, he saw me look, and i was so terrified LOLLL omgg. Thankgod ! We left quicktimes after a couple of minutes. Overall today was an Ohokay Day, Went to bed at 2 in the morning, couldnt sleep with all the memories taking up my brain ..
|
|
Thats what it feels like.
"I'm so sick of these promises that you dont intend to keep I cant think, can't eat, can't sleep, I'm a mess over you. Tired of being taken for granted With my feet firmly planted I've given all of me Yet here I stand empty handed"
Wow what i perfect day to start off with. I keep bumping into you with your girl. You say Hi, i say Bye. Because i dont want to start a conversation with you. Everywhere i go, i See you & her. Honestly, I dont think being friends with you is right anymore. I thought you said you wanted to change & become a better person & to take risks? Wow, another lie to add to the list eh? This list is pretty long as of now. You keep throwing more and more lies straight at my face. And funny thing is, is that i actually had faith in you That you can become a better person. I gave you another chance to change, but HELL no - You didnt prove that at all ! I told you already, that once you come back, your gonna go back running to her with open arms, and you denied that. Holy, why cant you make up your mind, seriously. WE ALL KNOW what the hell your going to do, so you dont have to deny it anymore. I can see it in your eyes. All the lies & bullshit you've pulled. Stop contradicting yourself.
Do yourself a favour, and dont talk to me anymore. Because all you do is hurt me constantly & stab my heart repeativly. Being with you OR just simply being "friends" with you, is a lie & a game for you.
"So much for a happy ending, right?"
|
|
sometimes loves comes around, nawt.
One word - "Hate"
- - - - - - - - -
I Hate the New You. I hate the person you've become. How the hell can you use me like that? Wtf did i do wrong? I thought you were happy. I thought you liked me. But nope, you had to lie. How the hell can you pull 5 months with me? With all the lies, pretendings, being fake? You sure do have guts. I honestly, dont like the person youve become. One day, I hope you realize what you did. Funny thing is, is that you say you do realize it all .. But are you sure? Wanna think about that again? Because it SURE doesnt show that. I absoluty REGRET everything because now i gotta deal with this bs. Not only do I hate the new you, I hate myself too. How can i be so BLINDED when EVERYONE kept WARNING me a few months later? Why the hell .. did i have to follow my heart? Why the hell, did i follow it anyway? Eff you. Eff me, Eff Life, EFF YOU LOVE. Its hard to let go of you, but i have no choice. Being "just" friends with you, is HELL. Because things can not go BACK to normal in a snap. Woow. Honestly, dont come to me for anymore advice for your fqn girl. Because i couldnt care less, what you do with that girl- who says she LOVES you.
IM DONE WITH YOUR BS.
|
|
heartmigrane
"... Do you find this all entertainment to you? Seeing me get hurt because of all the little things you do? Then sit back & watch & let it be"
Regrets? sure.
Hate? not you ... Just who youve become.
Pain in my heart? yes.
Miss you? I sure do.
Miss us? More than anything.
Love you? nope, correction - "loved you"
|
|
Right Here Waiting For You ...
Boy I tried to give u everything,
Can't believe the ways u repaid me,
Boy u had it all,
But I guess my all wasn't good enough for you,
Baby I've accepted it,
And I aint gone trip,
Boy im movin on, i have no choice but to leave the past to you now
Sometimes I cant help but think that another lady gonna get the one I made for me How could you?
|
|
thirteenth day of january.
"I listen to his heartbeat cause it plays my favorite song"
Quite tired, a tad, sure. Got up from bed around sevenish, i was a little to dead to wake up at 650am since my alarm on my phone was set to that time, i snoozed it lol. Uhm, once i got up, i quickly turned on my laptop, and while it was loading i went to go wash up, get my uniform, apply makeup, remove those huge ass curlers - only 4 i had on last night "lol", uhm straighten my hair, put all my papers & books and other school junk in my bag, then turned on the radio to listen to music while i was getting ready, and chatted a bit with 'him'. I did five-way talk with him, on stat, dp, wall, fb chat, msn. Erm, i was hella distracted LOL, he was my distraction somewhat. Tried cam-ing with him, but major fail. Uhm well yeah my morning was pretty fast. That all happened within just 20 minutes. Lol, surprising, i know.
Well throughtout the day, was really tiring, although surprisngly i was focused and actually doing my work in my first period class - science. bwaha, i dont even know why, but i somewhat finished all my work and whatnot. But once second period came, i dropped dead. Mrs Orosz made us copy down tons of notes on the overhea & Louisa & I did our 12line Skit - not bad, we got 20/24. The entire pd i was listening to Neyo singing to me on my ipod. He's quite amazing ♥ Anyways back to what im saying, Uhm in third period - Math, was the same. At 3A i was basically on Peter's Iphone or whatever LOL - it had facebook so yeah, OBVIOUSLY i went on to check whats happening if any noticfications & whatnawt. Lunch, was a flop. Erica went to Liezl's house, while i stayed behind since i had to photocopy three spanish notes for Louisa, and Tina came along LOL cos she was too lazy to go to her class. Irenea & Christine Grant went to Zita's , I was way to LAZY to walk there by myself in the cold :S So yeah, screw that. So instead i stayed with SEAN le-gis-pi since, Tina had to go back to class lol. I made Sean stay with me during my lunch period for like 15 mins, aha. He & I kept fighting for my BRISK, and he kept running to his class which turns out was a portable, i thought hes class was in the building, SOOO he flippin made me chase him around the school & OUTSIDE in the cold without my jacket -.- Urgh, thank god i didnt get sick :) Anyways uhm, 3C was boring, samething .. Copied notes down, and talked to Anthony Minuado & Peter & Kamil & Cory & Matthew & Kevin. Boys ftw, since theres BARELY any girls in my class, ugh whatever, they are pretty chill to talk to :) And lastly fourth period - religion was BORING as usual, all we did was chill & listen to our ipods. Alexa, Tyler Camilleri, Erin, Katrina, Sheldon & Ashley & I were just chilling and talking about life LOL, but mostly Tyler & Erin & I were aha. Pretty boring but whatever. That was pretty much my day in school for today, hell tiring but whatever. ;D
Nts :
- Exams in a week or so = STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY MAJOR.
- Religion CAT due this friday, oh fml.
- Science Test this Friday, fml more.
- Civies tomorrow, what to wear? Argh .
- Liezl owes me $3 / Hannah owes me $3.25 /Erin owes me .25 CENTS, aha OWE up slu's♥
- PAULS HAPPY SIXTEEEN JAM this saturday, omfg i styll got to ask parents (yn)
- bring cam tomorrow to camwhore with my lovely's♥
- learn how to smile properly
- stay focuse in school,
- hopefully, move on from this pain
- Mother owes me $60 !
"Love is pain, we all know it is. I just didnt know, it would be this painful..."
|
|
suddenly, i feel like crashing .
Woke up around eight o'clock in the morning, surprisngly since i went to bed at two in the morning last night. Went on Msn & Facebook right after i got up from bed, chatted for a couple of hrs. Then around 10-11 i got ready for church. So cold outside, i literally felt like i had a frozt bite on my feet. I wore flats, stupid of me.. But i was too lazy to get my black boots lol. And i was just going to church anyway? But turns out, my fam & i went to costco to get grocery & no frills, then went to home depot to check out this dining table my dad wanted to get, then we zoomed to Ikea in Etobikoe to see some other sleections there. We pretty much spent our money on 4 vases, a plant, a mirror, 4 frosted see-through jars, 2 cerel plastic containers & some other junk lol. I love Ikea ! Oh, and i really really wanted to get this painting of the Eiffel Tower ): But it was hella huge, and it cost 200 bucks, My rents were like FORGET IT LOL, BUT found another painting of the city of Paris ♥ And the Eiffel Tower in it was gorgeous, it was in colour while the rest of the city was grey & black. As you can see, i have a HUGE HUGE HUGE interest in Art, especially with Paris ♥ Hoping to get that soontimes (yn)Anyways, afterwards we wentt o KFC to buy some food, Its quite fatten but whatever ! :) I need the fat anyways. Erm, after we all ate at home ... My sister & I started to take down the xmas tree, all the ornaments, reindeers, flowers, mini lighted xmas tree, candles, garlands, ect. Quite tiring, especially the fact that i also loaded my laundry at the sametime, so im sorta multi-tasking. Well im done all that, just waiting for my last load, and im here starving again - dammit, and im too lazy to do my science homework as well. I dont even feel good enough to go to school tomorrow, urgh we'll see tomorrow ):
Au'Revoir Stalkers ! ♥
|
|
Flushed in Memories
"Im drowning .. with your lies"
Im alittle lazy to jot down what happened for the past few days. Too many things happened within a week. Its a new year, time to 'move on', change - to being a fully grown mature lady. Fix my heart, put a bandage on it - from leaking. Focuse on school - and receive that honour roll. And plan my future as of now. Oh man, i already made an appointment with my guidance counsellor for that grade eleven course selection, and im so stressed for that. My brain has been ON THAT stuff, for weeks. Oh my gosh , But i know what im taking, just got to make sure its right with my guidance counsellor/academic counsellor, because they know best. Urgh. School's a pain in the asscrack.
Things i want to say to you,
I hate that i have to deal with this now, four months down and we're still argueing until now. You tell me to tell you all my 'untold feelings' (referring to you), and its hard, knowing that your JUST collecting it all, and you dont even have the answers to any of my questions .. So why bother? Right? Ughh, i simply JUST DONT KNOW what to do anymore. You never tell me what you feel about me or this. Its messing up my mind lately, Im slacking off of school, being disrespectful to my parents - which i know is extrememly wrong. Always on the phone with ppl late at night, JUST talking about you and what youve done. I hate what the fact that im changing. This is not me, i should know better. I know its stupid to think that i fell for you, out of all the other boys. But i followed me heart, and look where it lead me. Its a new year, and i need to 'move on' but it just seems that i cant. You were the real deal for me, and now i gotta cope with this. Knowing you was my biggest regret. I was so dumb to have you by my side, when you said you will always be there for me - even if were friends or more. I guess, thats another lie of yours. So tell me, What you want me to do now ; I really need to know. I always wanted someone like you to be there by my side thro everything in life, guess you cant be anymore ... I was just a part of your list
...
In case your wondering, i dont hate you, and hate what you've become ...
|
|
A U G U S T baby
O2-O5:Roadtrip to Jersey Shore & Washington DC!
O5: Happy '16th' Birthday to Moi (:
O6 or 13: Ladies coming over
14: Binanogoun Family Reunion!
24: Sleepover at Erks' House with the Ladies
f a s t :: f o r w a r d Before Summer Ends,
Brandon Hidalgo
Austin AC Teodoro
Ashley Romero
Nelly Marticorena
Louisa Gavino
Sebastian Pulgarin
Ryan Pacheco
Anjelica Alba
Kevin Cuarez
Sean Legaspi
Ron Rivera
Jordan M.Santos
Julius Nisperos
Erin Rosales, Erica Almonte, Hannah Andres, Liezl Meijia, Gabby Boetang, Angelica Alberto, Irenea Flores
William Rodriguez
Chrissy Serrano
Raphael Jusi
♥
|
archives.
By post:
Monday, August 9
two different convos on msn at the same time LOL, ...
August 5th et August 6th.
Previous.
HAHA.
Second blog of the day. You can tell Im really bor...
Sunday August 1 (FORMULA 1 ftw)
Saturday, July 31st
Thursday July 29
"what you & him had was .... Friends with Benefits...
By month:
May 2009
June 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
|
affiliates.
SmileyFace
Alexia Libre
Aline Tran
Allan Razon
Ashley Romero
Anjelica Alba
Christine Clara Do
Cyril Jim Tapas
Darwin Raquel
Donny Man
Franseca Ting
Jacquie Naoe
Jeff Hui
Kathleen Kaye
Katrina Medalle
Kelly Niziolomski
Kim Borres
Maryanne Melandez
Patrick Tse
RJ Macabeo
Ron Rivera
Samantha Kotyck
Stefanie Nguyen
Stephanie Zibert
|
profile.
allysonnicole
My familia and my selected fews stands by me through thick and thin. NinetyNine.FIVE% focused in school, you can say that im a hardworker or nerd :)
My trust is l i m i t e d due to all the lies ive been told. I'm trustworthy, simple and understanding. Still unsatisfied with his decision/choice - though im slowly
recovering and moving on. I smile solo now - still learning. I thank GOD for everything, he's my hero. Through every mistake ive been through, ive slowly learned from them
and moved on with my life. BIG UPS to all my haters ♥
lifenotes:
•learn how to smile .. again
•move on
•stay focused at all times
•don't let "him" be in-control of your life again
•stay in touch with selected fews♥
|
